Last year could be described as my worst year ever. My own business, one that I’d created 6 years previously, went into liquidation. It happened for a number of reasons; the recession, management conflicts, people letting me down and, more personally, a money-hungry ex-husband who wanted his share of what he believed was rightfully his. On the 16th July 2010 the business closed its doors and I lost everything; my car, my home, my job, years of hard work, friends and my credibility. Most importantly however, I lost myself.
From hate mail to being subject of a local witch-hunt to aggressive phone, every type of abuse was thrown my way. Colleagues and employees who I'd nurtured and developed over the previous 6 years vanished into the ether, and to this day none-bar-two have been in touch. No calls, no emails. Not even a text asking if I was OK.
Thankfully though, I did have a good man. Ross, who can only be described as my rock, was there for me to hold onto when I was sinking. He'd pick me up and as I treaded very choppy and murky waters and he kept me safe, never letting me go.
I also had my amazing son, Dylan, who, at 8 years old, has demonstrated an incredible power of love and solidified the bond between mother and son. On the occasions when I needed to know I was a good mum, he told me without prompting. In tune, he always said the right words when I needed them most.
Of course there’s always good old June and Bert, my mum and dad. They have, throughout my life, supported me and they were there every step of the way last year. Whether a phone call or a visit to help with child care, they were there to help me find work again and then, after months of borrowing Ross’s car to do the school run, they bought me a little car; a little run-around that’s proven to be as reliable as they have always been themselves.
At the time the business closed its doors, I had over 50 people half way through their training. They had invested their money, their time and plenty of emotion into their training, and it was gone in the blink of an eye. All their hard-earned cash, sucked into the void that is liquidation. It was at that point I decided I needed to sink or swim.
I could have run away and stuck my head in the sand. I could have ignored all of those requests and horrific emails. I could have decided to go bankrupt, but I didn’t, I swam. I couldn’t allow anything or anyone stop me getting back on my feet.
So in August 2010 I committed to delivering the remaining aspects of the training for those 50 people, and embarked on delivering all aspects of the course, with the goal of turning all 50 into certified coaches by December 2010.
I’m proud to say that the challenge was accomplished on the 31st December 2010; my gift was being part of something so transformational. Although it was a hard slog, in terms of time and effort, it gave me the opportunity to grieve my losses and start to rebuild. The people I trained grew and evolved, and so did I.
The journey has been an interesting one, and 9 months ago I created a new training and development consultancy business called Full Circle Development. It’s much lower key venture, being a solo effort, but it’s been successful so far and I very much hope it will continue that way.
There are still many elements (debts) from the old business hanging around, but I’m taking the baby steps necessary to get those elements closed off for good. I feel I’ve reconnected with things I lost sight of and have found new passions, one of which is creative writing. I think this has helped me immensely over the last nine months and I suppose its why, as well the desire to help others live gracefully, with gratitude and generosity, I am doing this now.
This whole experience has taught me so many things, but what I’ve learnt most is that, deep down in me, there was an inner strength and belief I never knew existed. This inner-strength and belief has become my compass, my inner guide that allows me to stand proud of who I am, who I’ve become, and who I’ve yet to become.
I can, for the first time since July 16th 2010, now look up and draw breath. I can take stock on what happened, what I’ve done and now, with a mixture of hope, excitement and a little in-trepidation, I can take that step forward. I am so thankful and grateful to those who, in my time of need, showed me many acts of kindness.
Today is the day before I embark on a new stage of my journey. I've set myself a challenge for the next 365 days which I believe will not only make the difference to me and how I live my life, but will make the difference to others and how they live their lives.
For the next year I am going to deliver one act of kindness per day to whoever needs it. I’ve no idea what will come of my next 365 days but I hope it will demonstrate that in life we need to stop taking and try giving. I believe that one act of kindness a day to others may be a good place start.
You're welcome to come on this journey with me. Day 1 starts tomorrow, Wednesday 1st June 2011. I sit here having no idea what my first act of kindness will be, do you?
