This is the theme that had run through my whole day. If only I would have known this morning what I do now, then I’m sure my day would have started better than it did.
I woke up with quite a sore head. I’d met a friend for a glass of wine after work, which turned into a few. I’m not saying how many incase you get the wrong impression!
I felt slightly jaded and a wee bit temperamental, as I sometimes do with a hangover. Not great for the busy day ahead. However like most when you go out on a school night; you just have to face the consequences and get on with it.
Today I have worn many hats, its been a day of training and of coaching others and after responding badly to a comment made this morning, I made a promise to myself that today I would be conscious of my responses.
So I went about my day aware of how I was responding to others and how they responded to me. I did the training session as planned then went off to meet with my coaching clients.
In both the coaching sessions the theme of managing how one repsonds to situations arose from both clients; their scenarios different obviously, but each as poignant and as thought provoking. The key thing that struck me in both situations was the need to do things in a different way if you want to get results.
Bananarama sang about this kind of thing years ago, for those who can remember that far back?
“It aint what you do it’s the way that you do it and that’s what gets results”
So as I progressed with my final coaching session the client started to waver, she was exhausted and pretty stressed, tears appeared in her eyes and she started to cry. This continued with a series of deep sobs, multiple apologies and more tears. Her tears were flowing; they seemed unable to stop.
I sat there and allowed the client the space they needed to vent and express their emotion. However after 30 minutes of this, I decided I needed to take action, but not before I knew the client would be accepting of what I was going to suggest.
She was distressed, sad and a little lost. I reached out and held her hand, which immediately calmed her tears and we sat in silence for a short while, well until she was composed and ready to talk again. Not many words were spoken apart from “Fancy a coffee?” Smiling now she nodded and we made our way down to the coffee shop. Guiding the client carefully to the safety of a new environment brought a new perspective to the situation.
A latte was downed and a new confidence appeared. The stress had started to dissolve, as did the tension in the face of my client.
This time I smiled saying “ this one’s on the house”
Its not what you do it’s the way that you do it. And that’s what gets results!
The latte and the new environment broke the tension of the client’s anxiety. Little words were exchanged but a common understanding was shared, a connection where if language would have been used it would have been a barrier to understanding.
So why not show someone that you care rather than tell them directly. Actions do really speak louder than words.
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