Dylan was in a show with his drama group and the whole running around for his Austin Powers outfit, along with many more outfits had left me frazzled but had paid off and as we watched him last night perform, I was thrilled, his outfit was by far the best, as danced with the other kids to the Austin powers theme tune.
The show was long, yet highly entertaining especially as the cast ranged from 5-16 years old. And as we stood waiting for him to come down to meet us in the foyer after the show his face said it all. He’d looked serious on stage and was obviously concentrating but as both Ross and I waved to show him where we were standing in the mass of other grown up faces, his face light up, with a smile so wide it brought tears to my eyes. He’d enjoyed it after all. He chatted non stop still buzzing from the adrenaline and the excitement of his and the drama groups performance. He seemed thrilled we’d enjoyed it and both of us gave encouragement and the support / recognition he was obviously looking for.
Earlier that day I had been asked from a 13 year old boy, the son of someone who Ross works with, to see if I could introduce him to an organisation my friends husband works for. He is passionate about drawing and seems to have a real talent for it. His dad had told Ross that his son was getting bullied at school for not being like the other kids because he always had a notebook and was drawing rather than playing with the other children.
The email from the boy was brilliant, well worded and he’d attached some of his artwork. I’m certainly no art critique but I felt, for his age his artwork stood out. So I did as I’d been asked, and hoped that even if he couldn’t get into the organisation to meet other artists, he could perhaps get some advice on what to do, so he wouldn’t give up on his passion and his dream.
I felt slightly uncomfortable because I really didn’t want to abuse the relationship between my friend and I because; she really is a very good and dear friend, which I explained in my email. So I pressed send and hoped for the best.
I thought about Dylan and if I was in a similar situation then I would surely try to do what I could, so he could get as many experiences or as many opportunities as possible.
This brought me back to a conversation I’d had with my mum last week about myself. For some reason, when my mum talked about the situation I’d clearly erased it from my memory completely. My mum shared with me how her and my dad tried to contact my drama teacher, the head master and a range of other teaches at my secondary school to try and help me when I more or less failed my A’ levels. All I remember is that my life was ruined, I stood blankly in one of those slow motion scenes from a movie when those around you are jumping for joy and hugging each other with excitement and an appetite for life but as the scene pans out, there you are, unable to move, in shock because at the age of 18 your life is over. It is OVER!
Of course it wasn’t over, and in my life from then to now, I’ve had many more and many worse situations to deal with, however as a young woman wanting to embark on a Drama programme that was guaranteed, as long as I’d got the grades, then no doubt my life would have been very different. In my situation though, no one called my mum back, so my drama teacher whom I had spent my school life revolving around was no where to be found, to give advice, encouragement and the extra support my parents felt I needed at that time.
And that’s when it struck me, no matter whether you’re a parent, a friend, colleague or a person going about their day, life is full of obstacles that will always be in our way when it comes to chasing our dreams. Life I believe tests us on this for all the right reasons although at the time it feels very unfair. But for me, it is those who can learn to overcome those obstacles and barriers that are in our way, in that moment, are the ones who continue to search on, follow their passions and reach their dreams.
I gave up on that particular dream, in the particular moment and no matter what my parents and brother said or did to help; I chose to be a victim of failure. I gave up and lived in fear for over 10 years. That fear was fear of failure and so I gave up on my dream, always afraid that if I tried again I would fail.
And so before I went to bed I received an email explaining that they couldn’t accommodate the 13-year-old boy’s request for a number of very good reasons.
However they passed on some very good words of advice and encouragement for the boy. Just because this is a ‘no’ know doesn’t mean to say it’s a ‘no’ in the future
There are no guarantees in life, as we know, however offering a helping hand, the use of a contact, additional words of encouragement to an open ear and the support to continue to develop yourself, no matter what, is sometimes all you need to help you on your way.
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